Motherhood Musings: If We Had These Perks

Oh Mondays, why do you have to be so brutal sometimes? Normally, I’m excited for the week to begin because I can get back into my workflow groove, but the past few days have been rough.  Marli missed school (again), Matea is still sick, and of course I had to catch whatever they had. I’m tellin’ ya – we like to live on the wild side here. But really though, it got me thinking about this crazy motherhood life and how life would be so much easier if we had a few things to help a mother out – literally.

First up – we need a mom vaccine that makes us immune from being sick until our kids are at least 18. For real.  It’s just cruel.

Speaking of cooties, our kids should NOT be allowed to be sick at the same time.   They need to space that schedule out, wouldn’t you agree?

All kids need to come with an emotion tracker so we know when a tantrum/outburst is brewing. Wouldn’t this be so awesome?  Between living with an 11 month old and a threenager, we experience everything from extreme happiness to flat out pissed off all in the course of a day.  I mean who knew a toddler would get so upset because I drank out of the wrong cup during her tea party?!?!  I didn’t know that was Luli’s cup – I mean it would help if Luli wasn’t the imaginary friend I can’t even see.  Sheesh. Haha!

When God create the week, I’m almost certain he meant to make Monday “Momday” – must have been a typo.  This day would be dedicated to us.  This would be our day to relax, catch up on sleep, maybe even take a shower or brush our hair for a change…and guess what – we would be able to all of this IN PEACE without a toddler banging on the door telling me she needs to poop, ran out of juice, needs help putting toothpaste on her toothbrush, or that her sister has boogers in her nose.  For the love of goodness.  Hi – have you met your father?  His name is DADDDDYYYY and he can also help you too. (Yes, all of these things happen to me on the daily.)

Moms should have their own designated front row parking at grocery stores, Targets, and Starbucks all across America. Major props to IKEA for paving the way!

Since we’re on the topic of Starbucks, if they delivered, I would die a happy woman.

Oh, and omg – what if Target had a little kid play zone where you could drop off your child while you shop in peace like at IKEA!  Whoa – major game changer. I am not kidding – even if they charged a monthly fee for that, I would be the first person to sign up. Who’s with me?

Moms should also have their own express checkout lane at the grocery stores. Trust me – we are actually doing YOU a favor.  No one wants to hearing a crying baby throw a tantrum or a toddler ask their parent for the 189th time if he/she can have that piece of candy.  No means ‘no’. I’ve been in those shoes and trust me – I may look “calm and collected” on the outside, but I’m really losing my sh*t on the inside. Just keeping it real.

For all those stores with drive-thrus, THANK YOU!!!  We need more of them.

What would you add onto this list?

In all seriousness, hope you all had an amazing weekend! Thanks for reading this light hearted post 🙂 And, if you haven’t signed up for the newsletter, make sure to do it HERE.  I’ll be drawing a lucky winner to win a Starbucks or Nordstrom gift card soon.